STAGE FEAR

“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world

 - Emerson

STAGE FEAR  : 

To start we must first understand ‘Fear’. The Webster’s Dictionary defines fear as “dread, alarm; unpleasant emotion caused by coming evil or danger.”

Manifestations of fear

Fear manifests itself in three different forms:

Physical

Mental

Emotional

Physical symptoms of fear

Rapid heart beat.

Trembling knees.

Quivering voice.

Feeling faint.

Nausea or tightness in the stomach

Tears from the eyes or running nose.

Mental Symptoms of fear

1.         Repetition of words or phrases.

2.         Loss of memory.

3.         Overall disorganization.

4.         Blockage of thought flow.

Emotional symptoms of fear

1.         Feelings of terror.

2.         Overwhelming feeling.

3.         Loosing control.

4.         Feeling helpless.

5.         Embarrassment.

6.         Panic.

7.         Feelings of shame and humiliation following the presentation.

Brief physical symptoms happen even to the most accomplished speakers. However, our victory lies in mastering the art of getting ourselves back under control.

Why does a person feel afraid to face an audience?

Why are people so anxious when they have to speak in front of a crowd? After all, the group they may be addressing may comprise not more than four or five people and possibly the speaker might even know a few of them. Why then, the nervousness?

Whenever you face a group, whether you are sitting or standing, you become separate from the people you are addressing. They are listening to you and looking at you. They are together as a group but you facing them, are alone.

The audience has the anonymity of a group, while you have the high visibility of one standing apart. You are “on trial.” Everything that you do in front of the audience, whether running a hand to your hair to the way you stand is magnified a hundred times in size and importance. It is no wonder that so many people who speak in public feel vulnerable, even threatened. Anything you say and do is definitely going to be picked up and analyzed by the audience.

Speaking in public versus having a conversation

Most people have the misconception that being a good conversationalist will necessarily translate into being a good speaker. According to them the basic ingredient in speech giving, i.e. ‘the gift of the gab’ being present, all other elements in speech delivery will consequently fall into place. Here, there is a sense of misplaced confidence. In fact making a speech and being part of a dialogue are two entirely different things.

The reason that these people nature such a thought is that they fail to realize that when up in front of a group of people, they are no longer conversing (a two way process) but “one-versing”. That is to say that all the talking is done by the speaker alone (this of course is exclusive of the questions or criticisms faced by speaker). The fact that the speaker is a good conversationalist doesn’t mean anything now. He is not in a conversation and can thus not draw upon his social instincts. This is when his confidence level begins sinking and fear strikes him. This is the reason why normally friendly and witty people come to naught when they have to get up in front of a group and speak.

Q.  Is it abnormal to feel afraid before going up to speak in front of an audience?

This blinding fear and self-consciousness at the outset of their careers afflicted even those who afterward became the most eloquent representatives of their generation.

Mark Twain, the fist time he stood up to lecture, felt as if his mouth was filled with cotton and his pulse was speeding for some prize cup.

What is it that makes even such important people stutter and fumble at the prospect of making a speech?

This happens because there is a certain responsibility in making a talk, even if it is to only six or seven people. At the point of time, he is their leader. Such a great responsibility thus brings with it a fair amount of tension and fear.

What about Relaxation?

A lot of people feel that audience-fear stems from the inability to be able to ‘relax’ before and during the actual process of making a speech. “But is not relaxation really what it is all about?” you may ask. If you as speaker decided to take things in a ‘relaxed’ manner, not only would the speech preparation but also its presentation would suffer. This is because in any pressure situation, it is necessary for the mind to be alert and the body agile to be able to deliver what is required by the situation. In a relaxed and easy state of mind, such quick and responsive action will be impossible to take. The immortal Cicero said, two thousand years ago, that all public speaking of real merit was characterized by nervousness. Thought it is healthy to be nervous, this nervousness should not be carried to a point where it becomes blinding fear, which hampers your mode of speech delivery. An ideal situation is where a person is afraid to the extent that he does a lot of research on his subject and takes great pains to prepare his speech. Thereafter, he is scared enough to keep his nerves at that level of tautness which will give him the rush of adrenaline to make a success of the speech.

Confidence Building

Overcoming fear and confidence building are two sides of the same coin. Gaining confidence in essence means letting go of fear. In the same way a speaker who is afraid before going up in front of an audience, doesn’t have much confidence in himself or his subject.

The key to confidence building is the amount of faith that the speaker reposes in his subject as well as his own speech. This means that not only should the speaker be thoroughly convinced of the subject at hand, but also should believe in his own speech which is a part of the broader subject matter. Once the speech is prepared, the speaker is confident to the extent of his content. The only worry at this stage is the mode of delivery.

Certain points to be remembered about speaking in public.

1.         Stage fright is a common phenomenon – The best and most accomplished speakers are victims of stage fright. When it does grip you, remember – “DO NOT PANIC”.

2.         Certain amount of stage fright can be useful – Nervous tension can keep you from getting complacent and making careless mistakes.

3.         Practice – Some of the best speakers in the world have advocated writing and practicing a speech at the best way of overcome fear.

NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION

Communication does not only happen though words or oral expressions. A lot is expressed through non-verbal communication. Your body language, eye contact, posture, handshakes, the way you introduce yourself are all part of non-verbal communication.

The first 10-15 seconds of any kind of contact is called the moment of truth. This is because this short time span is what the other person requires to gauge a fair impression of you, which is usually true. Thus it is often said, the first impression is the last impression. Even if you do not believe in such extremities first impression definitely has a lasting impact. So try to make your first impression as effective and impressive as possible.

Introductions

Every day we meet many new faces in our business and personal life. Introduction is the first step to get acquainted to anybody. Introduction not only imparts knowledge about the person’s name, title, designation but it actually conveys a lot more. You may be required to introduce yourself to your superior or colleagues. In some occasions you may be required to introduce somebody else. Introduction thereby, happens at various levels. Very few people however, know how to make an introduction, which will have a lasting impression.

Some common rules of Introductions

Generally in the business environment people of lower rank are introduced to people of greater importance. Introduction is made on the basis of power and hierarchy. Gender plays no role in business etiquette. Always remember the name of the person being introduced is mentioned last and the person to whom introduction is made, is mentioned first. When you are introducing yourself, remember to extend your hand and smile. Introduce yourself as “ I’m ……..”. Never try to introduce yourself in association with somebody else. Foe example, “Ramesh is my downline ”

If you are in a crowd then you should introduce yourself. Be clear and concise while introducing. Do not try to give your family history / background, or talk about your problems at length during introduction as it may put off the other person.

In business meetings, experience sharing, discussions….etc it may be appropriate to mention from when, which area and what you like about  this business and your  work. You may introduce by saying, “I’ m working with Indus since…… from….. area and this is why I’m working with this organization”. You may also construct  an introduction which is catchy yet professional. While introductions always stand.

The way to respond to someone else’s introduction is just as important as making the introduction. During conversation or introduction in case you forgot someone’s name then be frank in admitting your memory lapse. Trying to cover the embarrassment will be more embarrassing. In some case if you have forgotten the name but remember an interesting incident / point, about the person they try to cite them.

Criteria for Self Introduction;

Ø  Clear

          Be sure to let people now what you do. You want people to be    

          intrigued but not confused.

Ø  Concise

          Follow the KISS rule (Keep It Short and Simple.) Develop an

          introduction that says what you want to say in seven to ten seconds.

Ø  Distinctive

          Be catchy enough to distinguish yourself from everyone else while 

          also being professional. You can do this by telling people through

          your introduction what you love about what you do, what your 

          commitment is to your clients, or what is special about the way you do

          business.

Ø  Relatable

          Use common words (rather than buzzwords or technical terms) and

          examples that people can relate to, so as to develop a relationship and

          rapport immediately.

Ø  Engaging

          Your words, mannerisms, tone of voice, and eye contact can all

          contribute to people being intrigued, interested, and drawn to you.

          They will tend to remember your warmth, smile, interest and

          enthusiasm.

It is both courteous and professional to reintroduce yourself to someone you have met before. People will appreciate a reintroduction because it relieves them of the awkwardness of trying to recall who you are. Do not make other people guess or struggle to remember your name. Above, all, do not say, “Do you remember me?”

When reintroducing yourself include, if possible, where you met the person or how you know him. This will reinitiate the relationship and establish rapport.

Handshakes

The most common form of greeting is handshakes. Your style of handshakes reflects a lot about you. Both men and women should practice handshake as a form of greeting signals. While introducing you are required to extend your hand irrespective of whether it is a man or women. If you are going to meet somebody and the person introduces himself/herself to you then the protocol is that the person offers his/her hand. In certain case if the lady hesitates to extend the hand then you have to extend your hand (Remember that certain culture prohibits women from doing so.)

Some common rule of Handshakes

Correct form of shaking hand is keeping the thumps up and toughing webs before wrapping the fingers around the other person’s hand. Handshakes should be firm. Weak handshakes have a negative feeling.

Body Language / Gestures

Body language is all about signs and signals, small movements, facial expression, and the way we sit,
stand and move. A nod of the head, a frown, a shrug of shoulders says many things. Research by psychologists and sociologists also show that approximately 80 percent of our information is taken from body language and about 20 percent from words. You can easily understand whether someone is interested or bored with what you communicate through his/her body language.

Gestures are not a thing to be put on at will. It is merely an outward expression of an inward condition. Gestures should always be read in clusters, and the context in which they occur should be taken into account. A single body gesture like a single word may carry different meanings. For example, the folded arms gesture can mean “I am protecting myself or it can mean “I am feeling cold”.

The general purpose of gesture is for emphasizing ideas or for describing or for drawing attention. Ideas need to be emphasized / described or modified along with the use of gestures such as pounding on the table, raising the arms in despair, or raising both arms to convey ignorance. Traditional Gestures are those movements of the hands and arms that have been associated with particular meanings. Other gestures are emphatic in nature and tend to punctuate the verbal message.

Some helpful tips about gestures

Ø  Do not end your gestures too quickly

Ø  If you are using the index finger to drive home your thought do not be afraid to hold that gesture through an entire sentence. It distorts your emphasis.

Ø  Gestures should always be natural

Ø  When you are speaking in a presentation, or in a meeting or conference use gestures, which come naturally to you. Avoid gestures that make you feel uncomfortable. You should be careful to co-ordinate your gestures with what you are saying; time is important.

Ø  A gesture should not call attention to itself apart from the spoken message. They lose their effectiveness when used in excess.

Gestures are not Absurd Antics

Gestures cannot be taught, as it is a natural disposition of a speaker. If taught then it becomes cultured and therefore artificial. Gestures incorporate individuality into movements. Gestures become antics when one is taught which particular gestures to make on this sentence, which to make on that, which to make with one hand, where to use both hands and so on. No gestures can be learnt from a textbook, it should come out from ones heart, out of ones mind and out of ones impulse. No two persons should be drilled to use gestures in precisely the same fashion.

Gestures fall into two categories:  Conscious and Unconscious.

Examples of conscious Body language:

Hand gesture is the most common and conscious body gesture. Some examples are,

*          pointing finger                                     accusing, threatening

*          raised, clenched fist                            angry, threatening

*          finger raised to the mouth                   quiet

*          hand behind the ear                            I cannot hear you

Examples of Unconscious Body Language are:

*Eyes: when the pupils dilate it suggests that your interest is aroused and when conversely they are contracted it suggest distrust, hostility and so on.

*Shoulders: raised shoulders illustrate tension, lowered shoulders indicate a relaxed attitude.

*Head: we tend to tilt our head sideways when we are interested or curious, raise it when we feel in control and are confident.

*Facial Expression: also conveys a lot of what once wants to say. The shape of the mouth and the angle of eyebrows are significant signs of moods and feelings such as anger, happiness and sadness.

Eye Contact

Of all different parts of the face, the yes are most important in establishing the speaker-listener relationship.  A speaker who looks at the audience appears more straightforward and honest than one who does not.

Although eye contact is important in delivery, it is impossible to look everyone. The effective speaker scans the audience and looks directly at individual members seated in various locations. An empty stare or unfocussed wandering of eyes do not add to your delivery of speech. To increase the effectiveness of eye contact, you should try to make all the members of the audience feel as if you are talking to them individually. Do not try to fix your eyes on the eyes of audience members. Rather, look in the general direction of the faces of your audience, neither too high above their heads nor too low. If it happens that you notice that an audience member is showing particular interest in what you are saying then by all means give such a person more attention.

Posture and Poise

When communicating, if you are sitting then be careful as to how you are sitting. You should sit erect for this reflects control and confidence and thus enhances communication. If you play around with your hair or jewelry while speaking then you actually reveal lack of confidence and lack of self-control. When the person’s words and thoughts are in total confirmation with each other, the body stance will tend to be in a straight line from head to toe. This demonstrates assertive behaviour with no hidden messages and indicates that the person is feeling confident and happy. A person leaning backwards says he/she is not happy with the situation. They may be either defensive or offensive. A person taking a forward sloping stance demonstrates that he/she wants to dominate others.

Some Do’s and Don’ts of Body Language

·                     Do not repeat one gesture to avoid monotony.

·                     Do not make short jerky movements from the elbow, the movement  should always be from the shoulder.

·                     Do not end the gestures too quickly.

·                     Do not force gestures, it should come naturally.

·                     Do not try to learn gestures from the book, rather rely on your impulse

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

The Art of Conversation

Conversation implies verbal communication that takes place directly face – face or indirectly through the telephone, etc. There is an established three – foot rule that states that anyone who is within three feet of you is a potential candidate for making conversation and networking. Conversation does not mean  forcing people to talk rather it means providing an opportunity for conversation. In a group or at a net working event, it may not be natural to formally introduce yourself by immediately giving your name and mentioning your job profile. However, you can approach people with a simple statement or question that serves as an opener to conversation. Once you are in a conversation, you can ease into introducing yourself and what you do.

Conversation generators are icebreakers to which people can easily respond. Two keys to being confident when meeting people are preparation and practice. Plan your conversation generators so that you are comfortable approaching people. Practice with friends and in situations where you already feel comfortable and you will soon be ready to expand your circles. As meeting people becomes more natural and easy, you will be more effective at helping others feel at ease.

Some basic points in conversation:

·                     Choosing a logical point to strike a conversation.

·                     Making the conversation interactive.

·                     Making the conversation interesting by drawing analogies.

·                     Establishing a rapport with the audience.

·                     Talking in a pleasant and assertive manner.

·                     Always remembering the person with whom you are conversing.

·                     Speaking with integrity and professionalism.

·                     Being enthusiastic in convincing but not being forceful.

·                     Listening to the other person’s point of view.

·                     Asking questions to clarify.

·                     Being flexible on business related issues

Things to avoid in a conversation

·                     Do not intrude into an ongoing conversation if it is uncalled for.

·                     Do not eavesdrop on any conversation.

·                     Do not bring personal grievances into a conversation.

·                     Do not be impolite.

·                     Do not start speaking in your local language if even a single outsider is present.

·                     Do not bring personal talk into an official conversation.

·                     Do not interrupt.

·                     Do not exaggerate.

It may be a good idea to use phrases like:

“It appears to me………”

“I may be wrong………..”

A way to defuse arguments is by showing ignorance and asking questions such as:

·                     Why do you feel that way?

·                     Can you explain a little?

·                     Can you be more specific?

LISTENING SKILLS

Communication is incomplete without listening. Being a good listener helps you speak sensibly. The need to understand what you hear on the spot makes it even more crucial that you develop the ability to listen well.

How do you win over listeners in conversations or presentations

·                     Stand tall and hold your arms by your side. Learn to use your hands effectively.

·                     Look into the eyes of the listener. Hold your look for not more than 4-6 seconds.

·                     Use voice variety to add spice.

·                     Pause to replace “ers” & “ehs”.

·                     Don’t mumble.

Some practical tips to enhance your listening skills

·                     Listen to the news

·                     Listen to lectures

·                     Listen to conversations

·                     Read the newspapers

To become an effective speaker concentrate on:

·                     Posture

·                     Gesture

      ·                     Eye contact

·                     Voice

The first free have already been dealt with. The Voice aspect includes:

The 4 P’s. These are the four human voice variables. These are described as:

1.         Pace (the speed of delivery)

2.         Pitch (modulation)

3.         Power (emphasis)

4.         Pause (giving listeners time to collect and digest your statements)

According to the Webster’s Dictionary, Etiquette is defined as “the forms, manners, ceremonies established by convention as acceptable or required in social relations, in a profession or in official life.”

When you go to meet somebody

·                     If you are supposed to meet somebody then be punctual and always try to fix up prior appointments..

·                     If you are going to be late due to unavoidable circumstances always inform the person. Do not take his/her time for granted.

·                     Avoid cancelling an appointment at the last minute.

·                     Try to complete your work within the scheduled time. Do not over stay. If your work is not complete within the stipulated time then try to reschedule.

When somebody comes to meet you

Now if somebody is at your office. You become the host and thus these are the common manners that you should follow:

·                     Greeting the guest or downline….shake hands with the person is the norm.

·                     At the end of the meeting the you are supposed to summarize the main points discussed in the meeting.

Some Do’s and Don’ts of Professional Manners

·                     Always come neat and clean when at work. Follow the dress code of the company.

·                     Always greet and wear a pleasant smile.

·                     Distinguish your professional and personal life.

·                      Do not discuss personal matters in the work place. Personal telephone calls should be kept brief and possible avoided.

·                     Extend a helping hand whenever possible.

·                     Reflect a positive attitude with positive language, this shows the your people that you are happy.

·                     Communicate effectively.

·                     Avoid popping gum during work. Chewing gum while talking to your guest or in a meeting  is very unprofessional.

·                     Be discreet when coughing and yawning. Do not yawn open mouthed. It is not only obscene but also unhealthy. When coughing or yawning cover your mouth. If possible use a tissue and turn away from those around you.

·                     Be tactful with rude people (patient, diplomatic). Do not blow your top.

·                     Be punctual. Arrive at your meeting place, seminar place, training venue  in time. If scheduled for a meeting, be punctual.

·                     Do not keep the guests or freshers waiting.

·                     Avoid annoying habits like tapping a pen, picking you nose, scratching you head etc. while talking to people

·                      Be careful about body odor. Use cologne or perfume but not very strong ones.

Business Cards

Your business card is your “Calling Card.” It represents you when you are not there & speaks for you & your business. Make sure that your card is attractive, appealing & easy to read and also conveys the message you want people to remember.Keep your Business card file up to date. Develop a habit of feeding information promptly into your system.  Always carry more business cards than you think you might need. The exchange of cards should follow a conversation in which rapport has been developed. Passing out business cards randomly is not correct. Develop the ability to discern quality contacts.

“Knowledge is created by the learner, not given by the teacher.”

If you are hope to learn something then think about this. I am not going to teach you anything you do not already know; you are merely using me to remind you of things you want to remember.

BRAINSTORMING

What is brainstorming?

Brainstorming is the name given when a group of people meet to generate new ideas around a specific area of interest. Using rules that remove people’s inhibitions, they think freely into new areas of thought and so create numerous new ideas and solutions. They shout out ideas as they occur to them and they build on the ideas shouted out by others. All the ideas are noted down and are not criticized. Only when the brainstorming session is over are the ideas evaluated.

Some other definitions:

*          Brainstorming is a process for generating new ideas.

*          Brainstorming is “a conference teachnique by which a group attempts to find a solution for a specific problem by assessing all the ideas spontaneously by its members” – Alex Osborn.

*          To brainstorm is to use a set of specific rules and techniques, which encourage and spark off new ideas, which would never have happened in normal circumstances.

Brainstorming will help you come up with new  ideas. Not only will you come up with new ideas but you will do so easily and without effort. Brainstorming makes the generation of new ideas easy and is a tried and tested process. What you apply brainstorming to depends on what you want to achieve.

Principles and Rules of Brainstorming

·                     Post-pone and withhold your judgment of ideas.

·                     Do not pass judgment on ideas until the completion of the brainstorming session.

·                     Do not suggest that an idea will not work or that it has bad side effects. All ideas are potentially good so do not judge them until afterwards.

·                     Avoid discussing ideas, which includes not criticizing and not complimenting ideas.

·                     Ideas should be put forward both as solutions and also as a basis to spark off solutions. Even seemingly foolish ideas can spark off better ones. Therefore do not judge the ideas until after the brainstorming process. Note down all ideas. There is no such things as a bad idea.

·                     Evaluation of ideas takes up valuable brainpower, which should be devoted to the creation of ideas. Maximize your brainstorming session by only spending time generating new ideas.

·                     Use creative thinking techniques and tools to start your thinking from a fresh direction.

·                     Build on the ideas put forward by others

               Build and expand on the ideas of others. Try and add extra

               thoughts to each ideas. Use other people’s ideas as inspiration for

               your own. Creative people are also good listeners. Combine several

               of the suggested ideas to explore new possibilities

·                     Every person and every ideas has equal worth

Every person has a valid viewpoint and a unique perspective on the situation and solution. We want to know yours. In a brainstorming session you can always put forward ideas purely to spark off other people and not just as a final solution. Please participate, even if you need to write your ideas on a piece of papers and hand it out. Encourage participation from everyone.

Better brainstorming means better ideas leading to:

·                     Increased creativity

·                     More pleasant working environment

·                     Better rapport development

·                     More responsive people

·                     Better management of your team

·                     Less conflicts and arguments

·                     Improvements in productivity and reliability

               CREATIVITY AND CREATIVE THINKING

What is creativity?

Creativity is the bringing into being something, which did not exist before, either as a product, a process or a thought.

You would be demonstrating creativity if you:

·                     Invent something that has never existing before.

·                     Invent something which exists elsewhere but you are not aware of.

·                     Invent a new process for doing something.

·                     Develop a new way of looking at something (bring a new idea into

                existence).

·                     Change the way someone else looks at something.

We are all creative every day because we are constantly changing the ideas, which we hold about the world about us. Creativity does not have  to be about developing something new to the world, it is more to do with developing something new to us. When we change ourselves, the work changes with us, both in the way that they work is affected by our changed action and in the changed way that we experience the work

What is creative thinking?

Creative thinking is the process that we use when we come up with a new idea. It is the merging of ideas, which have not bee merged before. Brainstorming is one form of creative thinking: it works by you merging the ideas shouted out by someone else with your own to create a new one. You are using the ideas of others as a stimulus for your own. Merging the current ones within our minds with the ones shouted out by others forms new ideas.

Yes, Creative Thinking is about merging two ideas, which have not been merged before. BUT the first hard part is finding the ideas to merge. AND the second hard part is developing that new idea into a workable solution.

                                    OBSTACLES TO CREATIVITY

Have a look at the obstacles below and think about how much they affect your creativity and that of others,

·                     Habit and routines

·                     Fear of making mistakes

·                     Beliefs

·                     Fear of consequences

·                     The weight of previous solutions

·                     Absolute Truths

·                     Principles

·                     Fear of change

·                     Certainty

·                     Boredom

·                     Self-bout and self-criticism

·                     Stress

·                     Rational thought

·                     Politeness

·                     Fear of appearing childish

·                     Unwillingness to take risk

·                     Language

·                     Age

·                     Lack of time

·                     Ego

Ways how we  kill creative ideas

·                     A good idea, but ….

·                     Good in theory, but …

·                     Be practical, that is too futuristic.

·                     People won’t like it.

·                     Don’t start anything yet.

·                     It needs more study.

·                     It’s not budgeted, maybe later

·                     It’s not good enough.

·                     Too much hassle

·                     Let’s make a survey first.

·                     It’s not part of your job

·                     It is not our problem

·                     The old timers won’t use it

·                     Too hard to organize

·                     we have been doing it another way for a long time and it works fine.

·                     If it is so good, why hasn’t someone suggested it already?

·                     Ahead of its time, people are not ready for it.

·                     Let’s sit on it a while

·                     Let’s discuss it (and then not doing so).

·                     We’ve never done it that way before

·                     Has anyone else tried it successfully?

·                     We have tried that before and it didn’t work

·                     Just ignoring what they have said

Ways to help an idea

·                     Yes, and …..

·                     Look enthusiastic and interested

·                     Listen and try to understand why it is being suggested.

·                     Don’t interrupt until they are finished

·                     That’s a good idea/point/comment.

·                     Great, let’s try it

·                     Let’s prove to everyone else.

·                     Tell me more

·                     How can we make it work?

·                     Let’s try and test it

·                     What are the advantages?

·                     How can we remove the dis-advantages?

·                     Can you draw up a plan of action?

·                     What can I do to help this happen?

·                     I like it.

·                     That sounds interesting, tell me more.

Hopefully you will see that there are many ways in which you can be constructive. There are even ways to encourage an idea without saying you agree or that you will do it. Be on a constant watch out for yourself putting an idea down too early without understanding the positive reasons for it being suggested.

1. You need to stop criticizing or pre-judging the ideas given by other people and should encourage people to share their ideas with you.
2. It is your job to help people turn their unformed ideas in to reality by giving encouragement and suggestions and by asking helpful questions.
3. You must never steal their ideas or pretend that the ideas are your own  or try and take credit for yourself alone otherwise people will stop sharing the ideas with you.
4. You must be bold and ask people for their ideas even If your appear slightly foolish for asking and even if you have a valid suggestion yourself. If you do not use their ideas, explain why not but remember to thank them anyway.
5. Seeking opinions builds respect and confidence. It also builds a creative environment.

         “Seek first to understand then to be understood.”